Finally got back my n level results i have somehow been dreading over 3 days ago.

I honestly dont know if i have the rights to be depressed over my results. I was so disappointed, and im still am, well not as much but still a little. I felt so worthless and stupid, i cant even achieve my target i have been targeting since i was sec 1. Hard work dont always pay off, that really really suck.

So anyway, i have been targeting for pfp (Poly Foundation Program) since the start of my secondary school life, or since the day my principal actually announce that there is this program. I missed by a grade for my english, i got a B4 but the criteria for pfp was B3. Never gotten a fucking B4 for my english before in my secondary school life and yes, a stupid idiotic B4 just have to appear in my cert THANKYOU zzz

I called my daddy after getting my results, he didnt sound happy but he told me he was really proud of me when he heard about my result. For once, my mum was so supportive and encouraging and she even gave me a hug in the kitchen and also a peck on my cheek. I was so happy, at least she cared you know. I remember there was once i actually got second or third in class and i was so excited to share the good news with her but she simply shut me out. I was so upset with her and ended up quarreling with her. So anyway, my parents talked to me over supper and told me that its alright and stuff. 

Both my sisters have been such great help to me over this 3 days. They really gave me many advices and also comfort me, knowing that i was really upset. They have been so nice to me i feel so blessed to have the both of them. They also told me about their friend who was a NA student, took O level, went to Nanyang JC, and fucking scored 7 A and topped the whole school. Thats fucking incredible i cant even imagine. They have been so so so nice to me, all of you should be jealous (im jealous)

Anyway, i dont know about all of you but i really hate it when people who dont study (or work hard) claim that i have no rights to be upset over my own results just because their results is lousier than mine and that they are not even upset over it. i hope you get what i meant but if you dont then its alright. I really really dont fucking get these kind of people. They are so fucking insensitive and brainless (im sorry) they should just shut the hell up. I remembered there was once i studied so bloody hard for my Food and Nutrition paper, i actually drew mindmaps for every damn chapters (there was like 12 chapters) and i even did my workbook but my paper came back with a fucking 35/80 WTF WTF YOU KIDDING MEH?!?!?!?! Chicken i swear my tears just flow when i told my bestfriend about it and my friend (i still love her) just have to open her mouth and say, "wahlao you cry for what sia i get 28 sia worse than you i also never cry" and she rolled her eyes -.-.-.- If you didnt worked as hard as me, YOU BETTER ZIP YOUR MOUTH. I hope all of you feel me because if you feel me youll know why i was so pissed, and to be honest i still am a little hahahah i bear grudges sorry.

Anyway i miss my bestfriend so much!!! I cant believe im not going to see her during my lunch breaak next year this just make me so depressed sometimes i really hope she's not smart so she wouldnt have to go to express stream. And if she didnt go express stream she will still be by my side and that will just make my whole sec 5 journey so much better. But NO, shes so intelligent and shes leaving me all alone :'( Im not blaming you dai, im really not...... HAHAHAHA LOVE YOU DAI!!!