Trying to act chio and sexy, but Joey ruined the photo! Damn it, hahah.

Okay, this post is suppose to be serious.

*serious mood activated*

We had training today at 10am, i kinda dragged myself out from the bed because i was damn tired. I still can feel the wave against my bodey! So tired that i asked my dad to drive me to school.

I really find the drills alright, still can take it. We were suppose to group ourselve according to our skills: 75-100, 50-75, 25-50 and 0-25. Some of them step out to be in the 75-100, most of us in the 50-75 range. I think my performance was alright when we were against the people who went to the 75-100, until Mr Chin called me and said:

"You are a drag to your team."

You have no fucking idea how fast my mood change. I was actually quite happy with my performance because i manage to block quite a few of drop balls. He said that my blocking and my movement towards and away from the net sucks. Totally demoralizing.

I mean, i admit i'm not a strong volleyballer. But just like anyone, i wanna get in the main 12. Just main 12 and i'm contented, at least i get to prove to people and also myself that i'm capable to be in the main 12. But i never thought that i'm a drag to this team. After Mr Chin said that, i really think alot because it's fucking demoralizing. What if i was the one that caused my team to lose out in VAS? Some of my team mates do not need to worry and fret about not getting into the main 12 for next year north zone. I have no one to blame, just myself for not working hard enough to catch up with the rest of the centers.

Yes, maybe Mr Chin's intention was to boost up my confidence like what Qiuheng said. But no, it didn't. In fact, it made me think of whether to continue volleyball. But then the thought of my new shoe coming next week made me excited, so nah!

I'm not blaming anyone here, Mr Chin abit. But seriously he shouldn't be so harsh what, i know i shouldn't compare but then i think Coach D wouldn't even do that. Or maybe i'm too weak, maybe! I'm really working hard to catch up, really!

Happy Birthday to my dearest Birdy and Qixuan! Really damn sad that i couldn't attend bird's party. I'm home alone now, and it's raining heavily outside. Should i stand by the window, zilian and say 'Love hurts'? Maybe i should, hahahahha!

Lurve!